Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.
I must be absolutely, and totally insane! There is a situation in my life that I approach over and over each time expecting something to be different. Expecting change. Each and every time I'm surprised, angered, and frustrated that nothing has actually changed. Why then do I continue this cycle? Why is it so hard to understand, that this is just the way things are, and nothing short of a miracle, from God above is going to change this situation?
It's a weird cycle too. Things are good, then almost immediately things go sour. It's very draining, tiring, frustrating.... There is rarely anything good that comes out of this situation, but often there is anger and pain. This isn't something just recently either. This situation has been present for as long as I can remember!
I can't even count how many different times I've tried to break from the situation, only to find myself right back in the midst.... What I need is a clean break, but is there really such a thing?
All I know is I need Jesus in the middle of this situation, as he as been for several years now, but something about this situation refuses to relinquish. Is it me? Is it the other? I've mulled, and pondered, and questioned, and prayed... I'm just kind of at a loss right now.